Garden Variety

After many drinks and a little chatting at the bar, X made the sudden suggestion that we hit up the casino, sounded good to me, it was last call, I had nothing else planned and twenty dollar no limit sounded harmless enough.

X drove down the 605 like there was pussy at the end wet and waiting for him to show. Unfortunately for X, it was quit the opposite because he got dicked instead. I found the only machine that is a sure pay at a casino is the ATM, I saw X win his spin four times. “X” I said “It’s three bucks every time you pull out twenty, pull out all the cash at once” X gave me a sad drunken look, “I don’t want to go back three times, the plan is not to go back at all” I lent him another forty bucks.

I had never been to The Hawaiian Gardens before, I have seen the lit up marquee on the freeway many, many times, always wanting to pull off and check it out, but casinos always seem to be in the shadiest of areas, and it’s not the greatest idea to go alone if you’re not in familiar territory. Lucky for me, I get familiar quickly.

The place is a dive of all casinos. I was fairly disappointed knowing the house must clean up, would it kill them to break off a little some some in décor? Moving along, I sat at a twenty dollar no limit table, interesting people, men, women, mostly Asians. The game moves quick, not at all like the Monkey Casino. The dealers are all over it, shouting orders, moving the game. Dealers know the more hands they deal the more tips they rake. I did ok for the most part, going up and down, busting a few more twenties out of my super cute purse. It had been a while since I played a hand, I was the big blind with hold of queen, two off suit. No raise, checked it down and queen, queen, seven comes on the flop, think I was sitting pretty I bet five dollars, fold to my left, next guy raises? What? What the hell? Does he have pocket sevens? Wouldn’t he have raise pre-flop with pocket sevens, hey this guy is so fucking cute. We battle, I didn’t have many chips left so I went all in, he thought for a while. Then he called me. Like a stake through my heart, he held queen, king. Bam I was at the ATM, getting charged three bucks for two twenties.

Heart Breaker and I had something in common, last call, which they made us drink at the bar, our table was two feet away, and it was easy to sneak in gulps between hands. While we ordered I looked over at him and said “Ya hurt me”, Heart Breaker smiles and mumbles “I know, I felt bad” “Don’t feel bad, its poker, you had me beat, even if I was betting like I had a full house and you stuck around, but hey that’s ok, I go my eye on you now” I winked and headed back for the next hand.

We shared some more common banter, along with “Gino” the guy who had sat next to me the entire night who took my verbal abuse like the true masochists he is. Then X came hounding to drag me home, it was 3:30am. I had broken even, so I said my good nights unaccepted some offers to be taken home later, and pasted out the whole way home.

So what have we learned?

1. The Hawaiian Gardens is a complete dive casino, it is the only one that has twenty dollar no limit and its worth because it’s really not that bad.

2. The Hawaiian Gardens Casino is close enough to OC that all the cute white boys can trickle in.
3. Take your own car when going to the casino with X.