Monkey Fish

8:15 p.m. Bank of America: Five twenty dollar bills
8:25 p.m. The 6740: One 22oz of Michelob ultra w/Lime Juice, curtsey of Maryanne.
8:57 p.m. Circle K: One 44oz of Diet Coke and one 5th of light Bacardi.
9:07 p.m. The Monkey Casino: Thursday night Tournament.

Let the cards fall where they may, I was ready for tonight. It was a full house, 18 players, the pot was huge, and with my "end of summer get-a-ways plans", I was thinking big picture.
The average shit talking started up about our records and how we need to start logging who won what and blah, blah the same conversation every week. I'm easily the loudest player, because well, they rarely pay attention to me, so I have to shout most of my proclamations.
I was a very patient player, I allowed the competition to eliminate each other while I laid back and watched the low kicker confusion, the semi serious arguing, guess there were too many Monkeys in the house at once because they were aggressive.
At one point we lost a player every 15 minutes and I had only won one hand.
Lawyer Dave had been out of the tournament for a half hour before he came to sit by me. I was dealt and when I looked at my two hold cards they were K 2 off suite. Lawyer Dave said, "I'll pay 40 bucks to go all in with that hand", first thing out of my mouth was " ahh yeah, prolly not" He said "Why not, you'll be up 20 bucks if you lose". I thought about it and agreed. After all it is gambling right. So I went all in, one caller with about 20 chips and just like that, I had four of a kind, K's and Lawyer Dave couldn't have been happier about it. Went bragging to the other table, then it was time to merge. It was early and I was no where near chip leader. The four of a kind help me a little but I was still a major under dog.
The best thing that can happen at a poker table is: You are the big blind, nobody raises and you flop a full house with crap cards. Fourth hand after the merger my "best thing" happened. I knew it was my pay day. I slow play this and hoped the ace that came on the turn would help someone think they were winning. Two callers paid me 50 each, now I had some bully ammunition, and I pushed. Pushed them off hands, bluffed them off hands, knocked two players out, then there was three. Ernie, X, and The Lady played as tight as a 40 year old Nuns. X was short stacked, Ernie and X went heads up on a hand. I went to pee and when I got back it was all over. Ernie and I were about even, he had a few more chips but was will to split the pot, $180 each. It was a great pay out for me.
Over to the cash game, that had been in my back ground for the past three and a half hours. I joined with twenty bucks.
ENTER: W. Stoner, Thee Monkey Casino Official Mascot. Naturally he is Stoners olde,r shorter brother, where he lacks in altitude, he makes up for in volume. He grabbed the room's attention when he stormed through the front door with a bottle of something cheap in one hand and a big bag of dead fish in the other. Fish talk has been running ramped all over town as of late, with all the good local fishing spots thriving. I fish, I love to fish and more than anything I love W. Stoner for bring the bottle that got all the Chimpanzees loaded. W. doesn't play cards, he pours drinks, talks to who ever isn’t in the hand, stares down my shirt shamelessly. At one point he announced he felt my boobs were getting smaller. Distracting the table from a very important hand, in order to have a round table discussion on weather it was the bra, the shirt or were my boobs really shrinking. Still being in this hand that had about forty bucks in it, I took full advantage and started sharing in the analyzing of my current cleavage. Pulling and tugging on my shirt, exposing my bra from side to side, watching the saliva slip to the corner of lips. Almost exposing my nipple, watching their eyes as they mental fondled my tan lines. Needless to say I won the hand and convinced W. Stoner to break me off a slice of raw yellow tail he brought in. Before ya know it we were having a regular old late night fish fry. W. Stoner passed out (over) cooked fish, and raw fish to the whole table. I briskly followed with tooth picks as not to end up hearing about a fishy smell from the deck of cards. I would, of course be to blame. After lending Chadwick twenty bucks and counting out all my hard earned cash, I then went home at a more decent hour then usual, got myself off and past the Fawk out! I'm up $240.00 fat ones and it's going straight to the Royal Caribbean Cruise Ships Casino. Double up.