Hoover

And I continue to play poker because??? Only reason is because I’m a dumb ass. I lost a total of one hundred dollars yesterday. The first forty dollar tournament I busted out early then played cash with these strangers. This game was played with dollar chips, house rules at David A.’s house. He is married to my close friend, Zelda. Traditionally we are at ends but thirteen years later, I think He finally got over me getting puke on his face while barfing out the front window of my car. A few familiar faces, we started the second twenty dollar tourney. Stood in a lot longer this time around but busted out seventh. In the middle of the cash play my Dad rang to invite me to a tournament at Hollywood Park. It is a fund raiser, a yearly tournament that Baseball pitcher Cory Lidle held every year for the make a wish foundation. Cory’s family has continued to hold this in his memory. I sat next one of the celebrities, a game show host, so there were a lot of pictures. The buy-in was three hundred dollars for eight hundred in chips, Daddy covered me. Okay one hundred dollars for eight hundred more in chips, Daddy covered. I wasn’t getting a Mutherfucking thing. My holds were just sick. Eight two off suite, three Jack off suite. Over and over and over and over. My shit was just bad. Last buy in, one hundred dollars for eight hundred in chips, and wow I was going some where. Doubled up, finally I was even with the table, about four thousand in chips. I got my next holds and it was the silent killer “big slick”. When I took a look, I knew I should have folded, I did not. Flop comes King, Five, Queen. Bet out One thousand chips, the player calls, next card is a Queen, I bet One thousand, player calls, Ten comes, I bet one thousand Player calls all in, I call and before the river, he exposes his set of fives, my only hope was a Jack or king….It didn’t come. Fuck him! I left, now back to the Monkey Casino to give some more money away. I don’t learn my lesson and I never know when I’ve had enough. Inherited extreme’s mentality, thanks Dad.

Pick a Wennier

Attendance has been suffering on Thursday nights at The Monkey Casino, only eight guys showed up to play. I brought a bottle of nice Rosewood Cab Merlot and enjoyed sitting there not playing, my hands truly trash. I literally played seven hands the entire game, and I came in third. Of course third, didn’t pay a cent. There we are, the last three players. Dahmer, 1000aire, and I, Shooting the shit, drinking Wine, Smokin, when I look over at 1000aire as he deals his button, shuffling the cards, talking, when I see him reached up and picked his nose….”EW” I yelped, before he laid his booger fingers on the cards again. “Don’t you dare touch the cards again till you go wash your hands.” He had no clue what I was bitching about until my squeal got the attention of Dahmer, who heard my argument and protested the deal along with me. 1000aire washed his hands and returned with venges, he was mad that I outted him and his nose picking ways. The next hand I was out with my first pocket pair all night, Fours. Then Dahmer and 1000aire battled for first and end up splitting it. I begged for ten buck to third place, It worked on Dahmer, but 1000aire’s wallet squeaks, he didn’t put out.
I was the only female at last night, I’m no stranger to the attention, but the Men were laying it on pretty thick. I got compliments on my hair, I got compliments about my taste in Wine, I got compliments on my old sweater that I’ve worn there fifty time. I didn’t get any compliments about my game because I lost twenty bucks at the cash table rather quickly.
I am joining a tournament tomorrow at 3 p.m. Different crowd, a husband of a friend type thing. I’m sure it will be interesting, and I’ll try to remember if anything interesting happens.

Focus Pokus

The game never stops, even if I my personal attention is directed somewhere or someone else. Every Sunday at 6:30 pm, Rake Free Cash Game. Thursday’s, twenty dollar Tourney followed by fifty cent rake per hand cash game. The main Monkey’s have decided to take a rake to cover the outrageous three hundred dollar heating bill the boys have been suffering. It’s only fair, I mean we are bi-weekly Boarders.
I had a few really good games over in December, had a great three hundred dollar Sunday right before Christmas, it's the most I have ever won. I badly wanted to post all about it but the Vaio was in the shop, still not fully repaired yet functioning.
Last Sunday, I was friendly rake free cash game, normal as ever, beers flowed, bowls smoldering. I was getting some horrid cards, I gave up trying to make any money, and just hung out paying blinds. It was well into the second case of Bud Lights when Chadwick and Big Dick Paul had huge stacks of all my money in front of them, I fold the next hand and headed to the pisser. I walked away for less then one minute (I proudly pee quickly) and all hell had broken loose. Chadwick had called all in with two pair and Paul was on a flush river draw weighing out the almost two hundred and sixty dollar call. The air was erratic, all the guys were standing, and talking and shouting, it took me a second to realize what was going on. Paul finally called and pulled the flush on the river. He sucked out on Chadwick so bad the whole room groaned in harmony. That was the beginning of a Twenty Five Minute rant from Chadwick. A melt down in the likes of which we have never seen, Chadwick put Thousandaire to shame. He knocked down all the stacks of chips he lost, slammed his hands down on the table, “Fuck You Paul” as he shoved a cig in his mouth, rage had turned his fair completion to a bright fire engine red. Slammed out the back door, came right back in, breathing hard. “That was bullshit, I fuckin hate this game, you’re a fag Paul”. Ha Ha everyone laughed, it was funny and only feed his flame. “I’m Sorry Chad, Its gambling” Paul tried to remain calm but it was obvious to everyone, Chad was lacking sportsmanship that comes with playing a game. He was getting down right rude and insulting, throwing chips at Paul’s face, just being a dick, I sat there and watched wide eyed, Chad look at me and barked “WHAT!” I said nothing. Finally after everyone else jump in to defend Pauly against out of control abuse he was graciously enduring. Chad went heads with everyone at the table, going on all in every hand, Pauly still apologies because he truly felt bad, I’m sitting next to him comforting him that he had done nothing wrong, of course Paul takes that as permission to get a quick grope. Chad continued, on and on, and just when he was calming down, Paul told him he was going to be expecting an apology at some point. Chadwick flew off the chain, snap into Vietnam, it was Charlie all around, He threw the biggest tantrum I have ever seen by any Man, child, or beast. He was literally jumping up and down, red face stomping, yelling “YOU CAN WAIT YOUR WHOLE FUCKING LIFE MUTHER FUCKER,!!!AND I PROMISE YOU WILL NEVER EVER HEAR AN APOLOGY FROM ME!” At that point, Paul stood up and asked Chad to step outside. The room stood quite… The game was at a halt for the first time in MC History. Chadwick stormed off to his room and didn’t emerge till eight a.m. when it was time for Pauly to pick everyone up for golf. Rumor is he did say he was sorry and that Paul bought him beers the whole course. Nevertheless, Chadwick adopted a new nick name of Rumpelstiltskin.

Yesterday eve, I strolled over to The Monkey Casino round sevenish; when I opened the door I got a huge exited, clapping, hooting, and hollering welcome from everyone, only to find out they were cheering on the Colts who had just picked a interception to win the game. I played poker till two thirty in the morning. Best hand of the night, the most beautiful flopped flush known to the sport, not that all flopped flushes aren’t very nice, but when you flop the ace high spade flush and the guy sitting across from you flopped a king high flush, there is just a little something special about it, makes you feel warm and cozy inside, and when that “all in” is pushed and you call with ease, its beautiful.
I worked my forty dollars up to a hundred and twenty dollars, but lost it all in one hand against, Dahmer and Mi Boy, it was a really bad move on my part, I deserved to lose the hand. I’m holding ace two off suite at the big blind, flop comes ten ten ace, Mi Boy raises it to five chips, Dahmer raises ten, I call, Mi Boy moves all in, Dahmer calls, and I move all in with one hundred seventy five chips on top of Mi Boys bet, Dahmer took a long, long time to call, but he did, and he had the ten, and had me covered by plenty. I went home sulking, at least he didn’t suck out on me, Mi Boy had the same hand I had.
I’m afraid my Thursday Tournament game will take a bit of a hiatus, I’m taking a class that is only offer on Thursday night from 7 – 10:30…. Boo, I’ll still make it for cash game because between where I live and where I learn, its only one left turn to the Monkey Casino.