Obligations

This is the first tournament I've missed in months. The boys missed me, although there were a few other ladies there when I arrived at 11:30. Not much can come between me and cards, not sex, not men, not friends, but family obligations are welcomed grounds for my absences.

I crept into the cash game, lots of players, I took a seat and grabbed twenty six bucks in chips, and started my game banter. There were a couple of new faces. Virginia a hot red head with nice implants, Brian reeled her in, and my Monkeys were happy. Robert, or Richard, I'm not sure, but he was there, introduce himself and proceeded to tell me "That color looks good on you". Which is an odd comment from a male, but hey I'll take what I can get these days.

As the clock hit two, it was time to go home. I play well, came up on about one hundred and forty chips. One hand I bluffed the fuck out of X on one hand, I had absolutely nothing, not even a high card. I was big blind and in position. I bet every hand, holding eight, two off suit. X called my bet, the flop came four of spades, seven of spades six of Diamonds, X was on a straight draw. I bet five chips, he called next card King of spades. I bet five, X called. Next card two of spades, I bet twenty five chips, X folds thinking I have the flush, he threw his cards at my cleavage, we all laugh, ha laugh my ass all the way to the cash out!!!

Garden Variety

After many drinks and a little chatting at the bar, X made the sudden suggestion that we hit up the casino, sounded good to me, it was last call, I had nothing else planned and twenty dollar no limit sounded harmless enough.

X drove down the 605 like there was pussy at the end wet and waiting for him to show. Unfortunately for X, it was quit the opposite because he got dicked instead. I found the only machine that is a sure pay at a casino is the ATM, I saw X win his spin four times. “X” I said “It’s three bucks every time you pull out twenty, pull out all the cash at once” X gave me a sad drunken look, “I don’t want to go back three times, the plan is not to go back at all” I lent him another forty bucks.

I had never been to The Hawaiian Gardens before, I have seen the lit up marquee on the freeway many, many times, always wanting to pull off and check it out, but casinos always seem to be in the shadiest of areas, and it’s not the greatest idea to go alone if you’re not in familiar territory. Lucky for me, I get familiar quickly.

The place is a dive of all casinos. I was fairly disappointed knowing the house must clean up, would it kill them to break off a little some some in décor? Moving along, I sat at a twenty dollar no limit table, interesting people, men, women, mostly Asians. The game moves quick, not at all like the Monkey Casino. The dealers are all over it, shouting orders, moving the game. Dealers know the more hands they deal the more tips they rake. I did ok for the most part, going up and down, busting a few more twenties out of my super cute purse. It had been a while since I played a hand, I was the big blind with hold of queen, two off suit. No raise, checked it down and queen, queen, seven comes on the flop, think I was sitting pretty I bet five dollars, fold to my left, next guy raises? What? What the hell? Does he have pocket sevens? Wouldn’t he have raise pre-flop with pocket sevens, hey this guy is so fucking cute. We battle, I didn’t have many chips left so I went all in, he thought for a while. Then he called me. Like a stake through my heart, he held queen, king. Bam I was at the ATM, getting charged three bucks for two twenties.

Heart Breaker and I had something in common, last call, which they made us drink at the bar, our table was two feet away, and it was easy to sneak in gulps between hands. While we ordered I looked over at him and said “Ya hurt me”, Heart Breaker smiles and mumbles “I know, I felt bad” “Don’t feel bad, its poker, you had me beat, even if I was betting like I had a full house and you stuck around, but hey that’s ok, I go my eye on you now” I winked and headed back for the next hand.

We shared some more common banter, along with “Gino” the guy who had sat next to me the entire night who took my verbal abuse like the true masochists he is. Then X came hounding to drag me home, it was 3:30am. I had broken even, so I said my good nights unaccepted some offers to be taken home later, and pasted out the whole way home.

So what have we learned?

1. The Hawaiian Gardens is a complete dive casino, it is the only one that has twenty dollar no limit and its worth because it’s really not that bad.

2. The Hawaiian Gardens Casino is close enough to OC that all the cute white boys can trickle in.
3. Take your own car when going to the casino with X.

Blind

The game didn't last very long for me last night, I simply got blinded out. No big deal, I was in bed by 11:30. Yeah i suck.

Even

Palm Springs was gorges this weekend. The sun bronzed my fair skin all morning long. Then I heard the casino calling. I'm sure I'd have great poker stories, if I wasn't so fucking drunk for the twelve hours I played (3:30pm-3:30am). I remember smiling a lot, laughing a lot, placing a lot of drink orders and walking away with the same two hundred dollars I sat down with. Not so bad.

Last night while rubbing my money tree, I heard the text message theme. An invitation to play a Monkey Casino satellite game at Domers house appeared in screen of my beloved phone. By the time I was able to show up it was all cash game. I dropped my twenty bucks down and counted out forty chips. One might think after twelve hours of poker Saturday night, I might have had my fill, but no, I can't play enough.

As usual 1000aire was rushing and controlling the game. Cute Paul and 1000aire have an on going feud. About two months ago, Cute Paul and 1000aire had a long drawn out battle, not heads up just with each other across the table, when Cute Paul beat 1000aires flush with a full house 5's over Kings it was on, 1000aire was out of the tournament and war was declared ever since. They fight all the time now, with words and cards of course. Every tournament starts out with them talking shit to each other and trying to take each other out, waiting for one to show signs of weakness by way of alcohol, weed or phone calls. It's actually pretty entertaining to watch. Everyone feeds into their conflict, jumping in with memories of past hands and past tournaments. One night, Cute Paul came to the Monkey Casino drunk off his lightweight ass. Paul was cussing out 1000aire so horribly. I would have kicked his ass if, I were a man. 1000aire took the high road, and Paul's money, instead of starting a life long battle.

Last night was a slow. I walked away with the same twenty bucks I sat with. I'm gonna be okay with not winning money lately. I still need to play more. I’m going to call around to see if anyone is playing tonight.

June Boom

The roster went crooked. The regular attendees couldn't make it to the tournament. It has been a long time since I've play a Thursday without Dahmer, 1000aire or Chuck, much less all of them on the same night, so I stepped it up and called a few of my brothers friends to come play with us.

Third hand of the game, my holds are Jack Ten off suite; I'm small blind with cute Paul sitting to my right dealing. The flop comes Jack, Jack, Jack, I almost pissed my pants. In all the time and places I've played poker, I've never ever flopped four of a kind, Paul calls all in which sucked because I would have like to have sucked some more chips off the other players. I had to call him and everyone else folds of course, I win and take him out of the game, needless to say he was a bit aggro.

Merging tables, there were eight and slowly they dropped off, my brothers buddies made it to the final table and one stayed for quite some time, then there were three. Peace man who had taken some cash from me a few weeks back was in with a ton of chips. He really has no clue what he is doing, as long as his holds are any, pair, suited, face, he stays in with the silliest of hands and sucks out all the time. It drives the monkeys crazy.

The board saved my ass twice last night, I should have been long gone but end up splitting the pot because the board beat out all of the players hand, both times I was all in.
Later in the game I flopped a full house, big blind hold cards, King, Three, flop; King, King, Three, and Peace Man was ripe for the picking, he had his famous pocket threes, he flopped a full house too… what a dream come true for me, he called my 150 chip all in bet and doubled me up. His skill less tactics bad fired on him from then on, and then there were two. Big Dick Paul, (which has yet to be determined) and I were the last two standing vying for a one hundred and eighty dollar pot.

Paul has missed the past to Thursdays games. Earlier in the day I had sent him a text message.

Me "Are you coming to play with me tonight"?.

Him "What hotel should I meet you at"?

Me "Is the hotel at the Monkey Casino finished and to they rent by the quarter hour"?

Him "I need you all night long baby… LOL thank you for the text Brandywine, I'll be there tonight"

By now he's been thinking about fucking me for at least the past eight hours. I had been sitting next to him since the merge. Being a massage therapist I am natural very physically, lots of rubs and touches when talking with people. I'm comfortable with being touched, I probably give every person I know a hug and a kiss ever time I see them so its not a big deal for me to have touching his tight every once in a while when something he said was funny or he took a good hand.

We are now alone at the table and I ask "Did you like your text message I sent you" he smiled and said "of course Brandywine, thank you, it was nice" I smile a teeth grin and give him my sexiest of eyes. It really didn’t phase him, he is a confident man.

Paul is a really nice guy, not my physical type but yet attractive because of his manners and sense of humor, he is a very funny guy. For example, "Mi Boy" is a red head, and one day Paul came to the game early and hung a poster of Rick Ashley on one of the very bare walls, Rick Ashley is a nick name he has for "Mi Boy" When "Mi Boy" walked in he laughed so hard tears come to his eyes, we all cracked up.

We played and played, I took a major pot and took chip lead on a bluff of Two, Five off suite. Then he killed me for half of my chips two hands later. We went back and fourth, I couldn’t read him. Heads up is tough after five hours of poker. We then decided to split. Ninety bucks anit so bad to walk way with. Its nice to be back in the winners instead of the whiners seat.

It's not fun to lose

For the past four weeks I have not placed any better then fourth place. I have come up with a few reasons what has brought on this slump.

1. I haven’t been playing as much poker as usual, I’m out of practice.
Resolution #1: Find some more games, I know of three other places where they play poker a lot, I gotta get them my number so I can be on the call list.
Resolution #2: Hit up the casinos more often, they are always open. You don’t need a call from them asking if you’d like to join, and I live fairly close to three, Commerce Casino, Bike Club and Hawaiian Gardens.

2. May is an odd numbered month; I don’t do well in cards odd number months.
Resolution: June is upon us, it was June 1st last Thursday and I lost more then I ever have in one night at the Monkey Casino.

3. Bad Luck, if it wasn’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all.
Resolution: Be a donor.

So yeah, I lost the tournament, and another forty buck at the cash game.
Peace man, is the town, crazy, military, guy, who is just dumb enough to take a serious sixty dollar pot off me with his pocket threes, when my holds are King Queen and I’ve paired the board twice, I was betting five to ten dollars a round, and this big ogre rivers a three… Any advice?

Infuego 5/23/o6

Mr. Para works at The Staple Center. The Lakers and Clippers were in the play-offs, Mr. Para has to on work Thursdays nights, and Mrs. Para hadn’t made it to a game in weeks. The hiatus was good for her, she was hot. She single handedly took seven out of the eleven players out of the game herself. It was not my night, my number never came, and I didn’t even get my customary fourth place, nope I was the ever so lovely fifth place loser, Mrs. Para walked away with the whole thing that night, I was proud of her. I think she’s been getting some online practice. I was in bed by twelve thirty.