Boy Roy

Boy Roy joined our crew via me. A long time acquaintance of my brothers, he became a client of mine and after many hours of talking about poke he came to the Monkey Casino. Probably close to nine months ago on a rainy Tournament night he showed up and hasn’t missed a Sunday or Thursday since.

Lately Boy Roy has been doing a lot of house clean, leaving the Monkey Casino with about five hundred dollars a night. Although he is a super nice guy, we all hate him, a lot. They blame me for bringing him and we talk badly about him like he isn’t in the room all the time. Its rolling joke when someone yells out “Roy’s an asshole”..Or “I hate Roy” or “Fuck Roy” he just sits there like the nice quiet guy that he is, defend his play and keeps winning our money. On Thursday Chadwick shouted out “I hate you Roy. I hate you so much if you died I wouldn’t come to your funeral” then he recanted “No, I would come to your funeral” I jump in “You better come to his funeral”. “Bullshit, I’m not coming” Chadwick answers me. “I’ll go” Charles adds, “I’d come” Stoner says calmly. Dahmer not paying attention like always, asks “Where are you all going” I answer “To Roy funeral” Then well all start rolling in laughter as poor Roy sits there with a sweet smile on his face. He is really competitive, plays well and enjoys the party. Roy often stays there till 5 am and walks with everyone’s money.

1000aire has a real problem with Roy, well he has a problem with everyone, but especial Roy.

Roy has King Three, and the flop comes K 10 K, 1000aire calls all in and of course they had been at each other throats all night, he calls and 1000aire has a melt down in the likes that I haven’t seen in a long time. He slammed the cards down right in Roy’s face, Roy stood up and started talking shit. “What the fuck Dick, if you can’t handle loosing then don’t play” 1000aire got into his face and yelled back, “Fuck off” and he left. Again the room roared with laughter. Nothing beats a 1000aire melt down. I thought it was gonna be the first fist fight, good thing because the security is a bunch of Monkeys.

Personally I lost 70 dollars that night I couldn’t catch a hand, kept getting out played. At one point I was even, and my phone was buzzing a booty text message, instead of leaving. I stayed with the my eyes full of the riches on the table that I never won.

I’m headed out to a casino with Zelda and David tomorrow, a couple of other friends as well. I’m going to see if my money has better luck in another area code.

Online poker still sucks, but I’ve been spending a lot of time playing. Its cheaper than the casino tourneys.

Monkey Soup

There is no body of water in my town. Not a lake, not a pound, not a river or sea, so why would I insist on fishing all night long? My wallet would like to know the answer as well. I was doing so well the first hour and a half of play catching Chadwick bluff and doubling up my thirty dollar buys in. A lot of guys showed up and we had two cash tables going. I felt all the real action was on the other table, and I wasn’t happy we didn’t draw for tables.

Mi Boy invited a new guy, his name was JP, and he was pretty creepy looking but mostly just a big nerd. The boys called him the count, because he continued to get involved with the pots even if he wasn’t in them. Big Blind Brian almost kicked his ass, touching chips in hands your not even in, just isn’t cool. Brian had almost sixty dollars in the pot when The Count started in trying to separate the side pot bullshit that was going on, I think Brian was just trying to cause a scene because he was on a major bluff.

I later caught The Count on a huge draw, I had K of D J or D in my hand, K of S, J of S & 7 of S, he bet big, I had two pair, how could I get away, I knew he was on a draw because if he had the flush already he wouldn’t have bet so big. I called his bet, I think it was 10 bucks, A heart came up, The Count checked and I bet 45 dollars, he just couldn’t get away from the pretty Ace of spaces in his hand paired with the K of H, he called, and a Diamond came, I bet 20, thinking he had top pair, he called. It was nice to hug all the chips and reel them in my way. I don’t think he’ll be coming back.

The other day as I drove down the street I notice a piece of plywood with a hole cut out and a monkey in a tree painted on the flat side, I picked it up and took it with me to The Monkey Casino. I declared the rule that if anyone missed dealt or played out of turn they had to pose in the monkey cut out so I can take a photo.

Saturday I played poker with Zelda’s husband after her daughters 1^st birthday party, I played for a while and left with 80 bucks. They are sloppy players and I’m trying to teach them how to play tightly or lose their money to me.

Sunday I played poker at Dahmer’s house, nine guys and Brandi squished in to his tiny little dining area, my hands were just horrible, I swear I was playing an April fools day on myself.

I joined a meet up group for SoCal poker players, I haven’t gone to a game with them yet, but I get the email and they do really fun stuff. B.B.Q’s and camp outs and an Easter game, I have things to do, but I can’t wait to play with them.

Commerce Casino is the nicest of the entire dive Casinos around my area, If when you say nice you mean not a huge tent or shabby tables. Its still in the depths of the ghetto, right off the freeway. I guess Casinos have a bad reputation for luring riff raff, so the areas they are in are down right scary. I knew Roy was there, I had texted him and he was parking, I live about 10 minutes away. I bet you are thinking, that’s way too close and you are right, it is. I have some discipline, I very rarely go to any of them.

I sat at the 100 dollar no limit table, I don’t really have the kind of money that one who plays on that table should have but it was Friday and the 40 NL table would have been too loose, pay day brings loose pockets. I sat there for four hours with that hundred dollars, I toss so many hands, I was so cold, it was sad really. I did have a good time meeting new people like always. One guy sitting at my table yelped out “God, I’m just here spinnin my wheels” after he lost a pot, I answered him back “What else do you come here for”? He agreed, and more than I knew, because he must have went into a forty minute explanation about how he has a girl friend and I was so right, that is the only reason he was there, he does go out…blah blah blah… I sure he said something offensive during the rant because he apologized to me, I replied that it was okay and he probably couldn’t offend me, even if he tried. The Asian man a seat over reminded him that If I’m a poker player, chances are “She’s pretty tough” I like tough.

Did I mention that drinks are $2.50 at the casino? Diet and Bacardi is so yummy when it’s only two-fifty. I busted out after four hours, the blinds are 2,3 I had queen king and the guy next to me had raised it to 15, I had a total of 47 I call all in, he had 9,10 diamonds, and two nines hit the board. I went home around 4am.

I’m back online with poker stars, I only deposited 10 bucks and now I’m up forty dollars from pure tournaments, dollar ones at that, so I’ve been doing well, and if and when I feel cheated, it was only a buck fifty I spent.