Three Sum

We hit maximum capacity at the Monkey Casino’s Thursday Night Twenty dollar weekly tournament. Eighteen people showed up, nine and nine. I started really strong, took two monkeys out then stole one from table one, chip leader it was time to merge and as easy as the chips came, they were gone, I came in sixth.
Made myself another drink and wiggled my way over to the cash table. Cute Paul had already lost his cash so there was an empty seat. Twenty buck down, cards were looking ugly, burning right through all my chips. Ten more dollars please, shit hand, shit hand. Hum this hand looks playable for a buck, no raise, Ace Three suited. I was in, White Devil raised it to five, ok well three more chip to me, pitched three chips and practice my new chip trick, flipping the last chip off my thumb and down my pinky. The flop came three, seven, three. Gotta love trips ace high kicker. In position, I bet two, setting a trap for white devil. He bet it up to ten, I called. Next card Jack, I bet ten, he called, river THREE, oh crap, I had four of a kind! I bet twenty, White Devil thought I must have been bluffing this whole time, and there was no way I had the three. He raised me up twenty more, I called my all in for ten more chips, he called. I walked away with one hundred dollars ten hands later, I don’t like to win and bail but it was two in the A.M., the alarm wakes up at six. Nice come up.

Some Monkey Loves You

In the middle of my matinee, if felt a rumble in my pants. Semi exciting at first, then very exciting as the vibration was the phone with “Mi boy” in the ID.
Sunday evening at the Monkey Casino is always pleasant. Eleven players showed up, and we broke it up to two tables.
Straights and flushes, even landed a full house on a huge pot, we merged to one table. Eight left playing. Dahmer took an enormous pot off my hands with my pocket queens, he had pocket fuckin Jacks and rivered my ass without any lube, Jack to trip him up. Grrr. I came back strong and took him out two hands later. The others dropped like flies.
I some how revived a suffocating Pauly and he was strong and back in the game. Mrs. Para, Pauly and I, shuffled chips between each other. Four hours later we decided to split the $220 pot. I got 90 being chip leader and they got 65 each, not bad for a Sunday clean up.

Stung

Sub zero temperatures at the Monkey Casino Thursday Night Tournament, I was COLD. Couldn’t get nothing going, was up by maybe 25 chips at one time. Bust early and decided to join the cash game. Don’t make the cash game usually because my tourney life is typically long, by the time we are done it is either, past my bed time or no seats available.
Business was slow, only thirteen people showed up to play. Pulled out my twenty grabbed forty chips and had a seat.
Oh how my luck changed. Holds were kind. I quickly doubled then tripled my stacks. Peace man is a horrible player but insists on playing, there is no way dead money is ever turned away. I took a ton of chips for Mi Boy, 1000aire and Stoner. Dahm came to jump into the mix. I sat with about two hundred and forty chips, cleaning up hand after hand. Flopping two pair, or high pair with a good kicker, hit a flush, smoking the boys who had been talking shit on me throughout the tournament. How easily they forget Sunday, then I plucked each one out of the game. Mrs. Para confessed I am her nemesis. I don’t know why when it her fault for chasing hands. If you don’t have anything after the flop, RUN! Fishermen do get lucky but not often enough to make it to the money.
Having fun, laughing and keeping tabs on the tournament still being played at table one. Fatigue began to take over. Decided to leave, my chips were slow dwindling away and I could hardly keep my eyes open. While waiting to cash out, I dealt one last hand. I had Ace Ten and called the small (this is where I should have raised it up and didn’t) Dahm called. Flop came King, Ace, Six. I bet twenty, Dahm called. Turn was an Ace, Dahmer calls “all in”. So now I’m sitting there with three aces, what the hell can I do but call One hundred and ten chips, that is Fifty five dollars, of course like a dummy who was half way out the door I called. Dahmer was holding Ace Six, a full house, my only change was a king to split or a ten to boat myself, neither came. Bummed and exhausted , I went home with fifty bucks. It still hurts.

Big Winner Chicken Dinner

After a stressful day of eating and napping, there was a nine thirty game called.
The Para’s house is Sunday’s site. Following a World Poker Tour marathon on ESPN, my itching to play was strong.
Twenty dollar buy-in, it was a small tournament of six. Chadwick must be on tilt, he’s play was weak and on the first hand I snatched half his stack. Practicing a much disciplined style and trying to change up my game, because frankly I’m tired of 1000aire being able to read me. No amount of reading would help. I had him beat every hand we played against each other. Eventually I took him out of the game. Dahmer stung Chadwick, shortly after I slowly rip that booty from Dahm. Took Mr. Para out with pocket Jack’s, when 1000aire called all in when my holds were Ace, Jack. I called with little hesitation. Last standing players, Mrs. Para and I, going heads again. Mr. Para was going nuts. Trying to coach her game, she wasn’t very happy about it. I had a huge chip lead, and when she declared “all in” I had no choice but to call, I was holding pocket aces, and although I had seen them get cracked all day on WPT, I went for it. Seconds later, I was the tourney winner $120.00. Good thing, it was midnight and I was tired. I somehow have got to get my Sunday game in sync with my Thursday skills, the pots are so much better.

Ladies, Ladies, Ladies!

Yes ladies, plural, five in total. The pretty girls are a lot easier on the eyes the then Monkeys are. Seventeen players were in for this tournament, for some strange reason I was the only female at table two. I didn’t play too many hands in the first half of the game. I threw a lot of crap away. I kept myself busy by talking lots of shit, having a cocktail, showing my once burnt now tan chest to the table.
Short stacking, playing conservative, and smart, I waited for good cards to try and double up. Successful a few times, stole a few blinds and before I knew it, it was time for merging tables.
When I took a seat at table one, I had a nice view of the stacks of chips that out weighted mine by a lot. Deal after deal, my holds weren’t looking very good. The river wasn’t kind. When I had a flush, my rival hit houses full Kings over fours. I was pissed but still in the game, slowly I build my wall of chips up again.
Down to just four players, only three would be walking with cash. 1000aire was on fire and plays very well. Chadwick’s girl friend was dead money that came up on a lucky hand. Chuck was riding my coat ass. I had a killer hand and try to take him out, but ended up doubling his ammunition.

Now tied for fourth, I was dealt pocket sixes, I raised up the bet to twenty five chips, 1000aire called. The flop came six nine king, I went all in, 1000aire called. We flipped over our hands and this muthafawker had pocket nines. I was done.

I had a really good time last night, maybe because it’s been a while since I’ve seen the final table, maybe it was all of the petty ladies gracing up with their presents and nice smelling perfume. Where the hell else would twenty bucks entertain me for three hours?

Hey, Charlotte you we’re right.

Monkey Casino Invitational

Ten dollar five person tournament sounds weak, yet I rather enjoy the initiate atmosphere. Only the mega regs got a call, 1000aire couldn’t make it so, Pauly, Mi Boy, Dahmer, Stoner, and myself, saddled to the eternal poker table.
Eight O’clock is a bit early for the norm, but we had late night drinking plans. The boys get real raw in small groups and I love it because they give up information about what they really think about certain women we all know, like shitty nick names they have given to girls or when she looked good enough to “make a mess” about. Dirty boys, rating chicks day by day, “Saturday Kristin look pretty good, but Thursday she look like she got hit by the ugly express”. Fuck I better start sprucing up every game. I always figured they really didn’t notice, apparently they do. I told them I never want to hear about any nick name I get that represents my short comings. I love being one of the guys.
Dahmer had his tooth removed and was in major pain. When people are in pain, they should not play poker. Like a flock of birds, the weak and wounded will get pecked and picked, till they are dead. Dahmer was the first out, my hands where shitty but I was being patience. Stoner was out next, I was short staked. Pauly burned a nice pot off of Mi Boy and started bragging.
“Pauly” I said “Don’t start getting all cocky”, Pauly look straight into my eyes and said “Brandywine, I don’t have to be cocky, I have a big dick” my internal smile was now an external permanent fixture, I was blushing. How dare he distract me, through me right on tilt, the next hand I surrendered all my chips to big dick Paul. Touché!
The game ended shortly after that and we made our way to “The 40” where we met up with 1000aire, Roman and a few other players, I had lots of beers, talked about the party at the races. The bar was packed, we stayed pass closing which is way too late, yet by the end of the night the only thing I thought was, does Paul have a big dick?

Equestrian Chimps

Excitement woke me up early Saturday morning, but not the same way boys do. I took a very diry shower and got ready. It's Dreby day. I knew about twenty people going to the race track, and I told them to stop by the party which was a couple of yards away from the MicroBrew Festival.

Mi Boy, Pauly, Roman, Cute Paul, Gilbert, White boy Dave, Gorgeous Gorge, Dahmer, and 100aire represented. Monkeys can sure put a lot of Vodka away, not my favorite beverage, but free is free. I bet a couple of races, missing money but one horse every time. 4Th Race I had the first two horse but my third didn't show. Sixth race thru the eleventh race I picked three out of the Million dollar pick six. I decided to lay off the betting and focus on the drinking, I should have focused on the burning. Sun block to only my face proved not to be a good move for this quarter Caucasian. My chest is charred.

After the races ended we headed to the other side of the track, there is a bar that has a live band, it was a “Police” cover band and they sounded great. My sister came with me, and by this time the monkeys were turning into vultures swarming us. We high tailed it out of there, most of them stayed, some of us went to play poker at the Para’s house.

Chadwick who hadn’t made it to the track came to play poker, his head was hurting and he had given up before the game even started, good for me because he gave up all his chips to me. We played a 7 Card stud tournament, which I love. The later it got, the more players showed up and put the pressure on to end the game in order to start a new game. The pot was $120.00, I was chip leader and rather then play it out I gave Mr. Para forty and I kept eighty. A new tourney started but I was way too burnt out to play. So I went home and crashed out pretty easily.

April Showers

Tournament Stakes for April 6, 2006 at the Monkey Casino
$20.00 Buy in- no re-buys
Fifty Chips all of the same denominations

Take a good whiff… Smell it? It’s me and I stink. Breaking some serious personal golden rules at last night tournament, which busted my ass quick and hard, normally a good thing. No.1 Never play the first hand. Did, flopped high pair, board was two, six, ten, holding ten queen, I raised five. “Lawyer Dave” called. Rule No. 2 never play against “Lawyer Dave”. He never bluffs, always a race because you can’t bluff him out either, and it was too early for my flirting skills to be effective against him. It was only the first hand. “Lawyer Dave” Raised it to ten. Why did I play? Don’t know, but I do know he had tens also, but with better kicker. Half of my chips were history.

Now winning your friends and their money is fun, but you then have revenge to deal with. Taking four guys out at the Sunday game, I was the victim of some nasty spite play. 1000aire was hot on my trail, a couple hands later I was on the big blind, someone raised four chips and fuck it, I was already in for two, had and ace of spades in my hand, along with a shitty little four, saw a flop. Flopped a straight. Five, Three, Two, showed up, 1000aire went all in. Hoped he didn’t have a higher straight, yet I called. 1000aire flip over a set of fives, his hand, three of a kind, and lots of out to get a full house, on the river he did. I should have known the dealer had it out for the lady. X was on the spite play too. X always deals me crap, new rule No. 3 do not play when X is dealing!

Last nights pot was huge, and would have been a nice addition to my weekend. This will be my first Saturday off in four months. I have got to quit one of these jobs. Anywho, I’m going to try my luck at the track. Santa Anita Race track, Derby Day... ahhh takes me back to Dad’s weekends. There will be a Micro Brew, a Birthday party for “Pauly” (a regular at the Monkey Casino), Lots of friends, and bet’n the ponies, what a perfect Saturday off, if I get laid it might be the best Saturday this year yet.

Fiend is Friend without the R

Jonesin for some poker all week long, we got a game going on at K.P.’s and J.P.’s house.
When “Cute Paul” was playing as reckless as usually, first hand of the game he was out, he then rallied to get a re-buy. Re-buys, extends the game and allows frivolous all in calls. The group hadn’t agreed to any re-buys before the game so the answer was no. Paul was bitter and retaliated with a curse to lose for me and the four other anti re-buy voters.

The start was gross, trash showing up in my hand every deal. I thought for sure I would get blinded out. I was patient, I was coy, almost got called out on a MAJOR bluffl, survived this poker tourney. Played it like a champ, Paul hung out trying to jinx me. One time I misread my hand. 100aire went all in. Could have swore I had ace queen, called his bet and was pretty upset when I took a second look at my holds, ten queen, funny thing, I ended up with a full house and took his ass out! I took X out, I took Dom out and I took J.P. the only person left was K.P., she’s a relatively weak player, not enough experience, but any old lucky hand could have wiped me out, we played till we were about even and split the pot. Thank God March is OVER; I won 100 bucks, and practiced a serious poker face.